Moses, Abraham, to name a few. These are people supposedly talked to God and guess what? They weren't Preachers! They were ordinary Joes like you or me. So who says that Preachers (and I use this term generically to also refer to Imams, Rabbis, etc.) have the lock on Godly intercourse? And with that, who is anyone to dispute much less refute that a discourse with God has happened? If a lady ssays God told her to stone her kids how is that different from some Imam screaming that God told him for his followers to kill Americans, or for some Televangelist to claim that God told him that Jews killed Jesus? How can you test whether someone is truthfully conversing with God versus a lie versus a believed though imaginary conversation?
WIth that in mind I must confess that I had a message from God at last nights Seder. Yes, honest and true - a little rapport with the head honcho. My Mother-In-Law had handed me a jar of freshly grated horseradish to put out for the gefilte fish. Being the macho, simpleminded sort of male that I am, I opened the jar, stuck my face right down in it, and took a honking big snort. When I woke up 20 minutes later my face was still red and burning, my eyebrows were missing, and my hairline had receded to the back of my neck. My kids said that watching me was "Totally Cool!" and that they didn't know I could dance like that, akin to a spastic scarecrow. The In-Laws looked at my wife with a "We told you not to marry this guy look!" And my own mother shrugged and commented that she may have dropped me a few times too many on my head.
But in the agony I had gotten a message from God - a two-parter. The first part was a plain and clear "Thou shalt not snort horseradish - dumbshit!" and the other was that all readers and potential readers - by direct and undisputable order from God Almighty, the One God, the Gracious God, the Vengeful God - need to send me money and lots of it. Seriously. This is what God told me. I was to be rewarded by my readers by their giving, to pay for an eyebrow transplant. So - dear readers - click the Paypal donation now.
Or will you defy God and his message, and face his fearful wrath?
(The above was humerous comment. you do NOT have to send any money to me or any other person who claims that God has demanded such. God does not need money! In fact, God should be quite self-sufficient and not in need of tithings or sacrifices of any sort, for if God is omnisicient and perfect than God must also be complete. To demand money or sacrifices implies that God has a need. If God has a need then God is incomplete and therefore not perfect. Stick to the perfect God or none at all.)
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