I had forgotten that when you enter they give you a teaser token, like giving a cigarette to a kid. One puff and you're hooked. Sure enough, my kid looked around, tried a game, got the ticket, and wanted more. More tokens! More tickets! Max the credit card! I splurged for $10 bucks worth of tokens (40 plus a bonus 10!) if anything to keep my title of "Cool Dad". This on top of the tokens we go from the party host and a coupon good for 100 tickets. My kid quickly learned the technique of the "slow pull" when retrieving tickets out of the games. You can usually get one extra ticket that way but you have to make sure to not play the game again until after someone else. As it was quite a few machines ate our tokens outright so I figured it was turnabout.

The pizza. I ate 2 slices of pepperoni pizza ands a slice of sausage. My dreams last night were vivid, complex, and something out of a magic mushroom orgy. My kid woke up loopy too but he got to bed late. Forget drugs. I'm sticking to The Pizza!

The birthday celebration. On cue, out comes Chuck E., on comes the TV and the animatronics. Everybody sing! My kid looked lost, unsure what was going on. The Pizza may have had a quick effect on him because he didn't sing or clap or play along. Maybe he's too damn cynical, the little blighter. As for Chuck E., well, I wouldn't have minded a can of Instant Napalm or a cattleprod. He got off this time but only due to the abundance of kids between me and him. My kid ate a piece of birthday cake and declared it pretty awful, this from a child that snacks on crayons.

Finally after two hours we ran out of tokens. We had 335 tickets but my kid had to have a faux lightsaber which was 500 tickets. The clerk working the counter gave a shrug and handed over a lightsaber. I don't know whether it was standard policy to grossly round-up ticket counts or the clerk didn't care but bless him. That was one happy 5-year kept occupied for a long ride home. Driving home I calculated that we spent $10 to get 500 tickets of value - two cents per ticket. The light saber probably costs maybe a buck wholesale...we're talking gross profits and I didn't even buy food.

Yeah, Chuck E. occupies a special spot in my Hall of Loathing, right next to Microsoft and George W..