I sense a new strategy here. Instead of independent investigations by untrustworthy and/or incompetent entities such as the Police, let's have all crimes investigated by the (alleged) perpetrators. This will remove problems of accountability. It will entirely remove accountability. We can reduce our Police forces - those lazy good-for-nothings. We'll have more Freedom to do what we want as long as we look into it afterwards.

"I looked into the bank robbery and discovered that I had an airtight alibi, so excuse me I'm off to Europe."

Gosh, what a revelation!